I deserve it

I screwed up and I know it. For the first time I got so involved and had such feelings for someone, I still do. Though my cold personality and toxic love won this war and destroyed this relationship. I have no one to talk to, because he was my only friend. I have no one to share my achievements with or funny pictures, videos, drawings, what annoyes me, makes me sad or happy. I have only my blog and psychologist left. My third eye will sink in another depression.

You know it's serious when he deletes you on facebook, skype, chat in game and soon instagram. I went too far this time and I need to take this punch, but it feels like death sentence. If it's really the end I want to forget and never fall in love again. It will be better for me and for a person that I'd hurt in the future. This one is on me. It's all my fault, believe me. I know I will spend nights crying , because an apology won't fix it. I'll find something to simply take my mind from it and maybe after a while it will get better.

I don't want to smile ever again.