Into the darkness

Recently through my head passes a lot of thoughts and I imagine writing the last post. Am I going to announce it publicly? Certainly I wouldn't want to leave without saying a word. I want you to know that you could never dissuade it from me.

At some point in my life a little seed settled in my body and came along with thorns growing in my soul, trying to root me in the darkness. Sometimes I see tiny rays of the sun, but they can never reach me and help the tiny buds of flowers bloom, so sadly trying to knock up from my own roots. Seed already has me in its clutches and gives no chance of getting out, though occasionally teases me, by giving hope to my buds for the little light.

I guess I'm not alone here. Sometimes I feel as if someone whispered in my ear these desperate words, and I'm so stupid to believe them and react. I usually revenge on the people around who don't have a clue about my burden and I hurt not only them, but also myself. The seed took care so I wouldn't find happiness in the darkness and it seems that it's working with thorns, trying to deprive me of everything. Are they whispering? Are they forcing me to get rid of any small shred of happiness and those who wants to save me and my buds?

Please tell me that I'm possessed, because I don't want to be such a bad person.