Where's the light?

They got me again, emptiness and loneliness, which I'm trying to clumsily hide in me.
I don't want anyone to know about it, but I want his attention. I lie saying that everything is fine and it hurts, when he believes me. I'm denying a visit and bleeding inside, because it's damaging me more than a razor blade could. Words doesn't express what we really want, but eyes and crying soul stays unseen, as long as we'll not break through the semblance. I can't talk about what's digging a hole in my happiness, but is a paper enough to show my suffering? I desire understanding and supporting, although I don't know if my misery is enough. I dream about a kiss, last breath and black wings rising right upon me. The true darkness would come and I would be free from sorrow. To exist in this world as a little light and observe, protect, and regret that I've let my heart to be poisoned.